Submitted by: SP Riley via Oddly Specific
It scares me that they need to warn someone about this.
If they didn’t someone probably would. That’s the REALLY scary part…
*shivers and crosses legs even though she doesn’t have that eqiupment*
You’re right. Maybe they should have a warning for women too…
I love Harbor Freight. God bless the (hinese.
[…]doesn’t have that eqiupment*
You’re not talking about the tools, right? 😉
All product warnings are there because somebody WAS stupid enough to do that, hence the need to warn others not to do the same thing.
The ironic thing is, even more people do it after the warning brings the idea to their attention!
Thank Mr. Hands for this and horse related warnings…
And what makes it even MORE scary, is that a picture was required as well.
No, scary is that they wouldn’t have put that label on unless someone had already done it, and had it … ended badly.
Meaning the manufacturer lost the lawsuit.
Never put an important decision before a panel of 12 people too stupid to get out of jury duty.
i do it every night before i go to bed…
i dont understand what you guys are getting so wound up about… its just a little blood and foreskin that winds up on my floor… so what?
AT LEAST one person did it and probably sued them. It takes a lot to get a product warning on a label. Especially one that is so specific.
Incredibly old picture.
It’s not too bad until you get to #1.
If you think 1 is bad, you clearly haven’t seen some of the sounding rods out there. I can’t even fathom the how or why of it.
Totally agree; it’s friggin’ creepy how big they can get. It make sense though: You use one size, eventually you stretch out to the point where you’d need something bigger.
Sounding is one of those things that doctors do as part of very unpleasant medical exams and perverts do for fun. Like enemas.
The sad part is, it must have already happened or they wouldn’t have to warn you about it.
yikes and blimey cubed!
the second line of text looks photoshopped to me 😐
I second that.
its not exactly parallel to the first line
Printed in a different color… if it was the old-school, type-setting print style… and the photo does look old…
This is Photoshopped, i have a set of these at home. It simply shows a picture of someone using the screwdriver in the circle. Put a line through the circle, add a funny warning, the screw looks just enough like a penis already, and viola!
errr… *voila u mean?
I own them too, and checked them when I saw this. Totally ‘shopped.
It’s called “Sounding”. You probably shouldn’t Google that term.
Correction: You DEFINITELY shouldn’t Google that term.
so i’ll explain it instead.
sounding is inserting objects into the urethra. seeing as the urethra is very sensitive, some people find sounding very pleasurable.
as long as you’re not squeamish about inserting stuff into your urethra, then go right on ahead.
do NOT use hard or straight materials. there is special equipment for sounding, and is safe under fair use.
LOL, “fair use” as in you can post it on Wikipedia? (I’m kidding, please don’t) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fair_use
A more formal name would be “urethral masturbation”. You probably shouldn’t Google that either…
KIDS IN THE SANDBOX, ANYONE?
This is yet another thing that you should never, ever, ever, ever, in the eternity of the cosmos, google.
Let’s please get rid of all the warning labels telling people not to do abjectly stupid things. Let the morons weed themselves out of the gene pool!
All in favor?
Warning: Coffee is hot
Warning: Light cigarettes don’t magically make them safer
Warning: Don’t stick your screw driver into the appliance before pulling the plug
Warning: This thing has shiny lasers. Don’t try to play track 4 while looking there.
Warning: If it can dissolve 2 month old dinner from the pipes, just think what it will do when you take a bath in it.
If nothing else, just think of all the ink and sticker glue stuff that could be saved!
warning, always read lube lable (Plane glue… “HONEY! MY HAND IS STUCK AGAIN!” or “PULL OUT!” ‘rrriiiipp’ “AHHHH…”) forklift, not to eat with. gun, do not look in barrel to see if empty. pokemon, seizure center. mop, not for kissing practice. condoms, not for dildo’s/not a kids baloon. garbage bags, not to put an old, homeless women in. hotdog… use your imagination on this (female use)
Does Sir read bash too?
Or did Sir just have an epiphany and realise the solution to at least 50% of the worlds problems as well?
It’s that wacky language barrier again…they just don’t get what the word screw is supposed to mean here.
Pretty sure this is ‘shopped
The question being why anyone would /want/ to stick that up there..
from what I’ve heard, sounding is suppose to be extremely pleasurable…
Still makes me cringe though, hahaha.
With the right tools, from what I hear (no personal experience), but not with something that can/likely will rip the urethra to shreds. THAT, they call masochism.
Oh my god. That’s a thing?
I’m in total agreement with dw here, and not just because we need to cleanse the gene pool. The more companies provide warning labels like this, the more companies will be on the hook to provide even more extensive and ridiculous warning labels. “The instructions didn’t say I shouldn’t stab myself in the eye with this knitting needle. I’m suing!”
Well, that’s America weeding itself out of the gene pool for you… I don’t know of any other country where idiocy can be taken to such increadibly breathtaking heights by completely serious people in serious business suits.
And that is why I hope to one day move to a country far, far away.
Actually, that particular form of masturbation was relatively unknown in the United States until the publication of the book Haunted. Unless I’m much mistaken, sounding was first “perfected” in the middle east/Turkey.
I love Palahniuk too, but I kind of think you’re giving him a little too much credit there.
I have seen plenty of idiocy in other countries. And sounding (look it up) isn’t strictly an American pass-time.
Yes, idiocy is global, but suing in response to one’s own idiocy is a primarily American activity, and that litigious spirit is the father of all these ridiculous warnings.
and that children is what christmas is all about.
Yeah, well, I lived all over the globe, and I agree that America doesn’t have a monopoly on idiocy. However, INSTITUTIONALISED idiocy is another matter. It should be by now enshrined in the Constitution, you know, every citizen’s right to be an idiot, and to sue someone else for it.
Hey guys, I hear that intelligence is equal to morality and that all stupid people deserve to die – amirite?!
(Not that I’m defending people who sue for stupid crap; that’s not being an idiot, that’s being an asshole.)
Um…. EWWWWWwwwwwwww w w w . . . .
I don’t know if it’s photoshopped, but it’s definitely altered.
First, the warning text is parallel to the image’s borders, not to the product’s name.
Second, the warning text is yellower and not as sharp.
Third, the image doesn’t make sense without the warning text. (There isn’t enough context to determine whether or not the image would have been put on a general-audience retail product in the first place, so I won’t go there.)
Yea, I agree with User McUser…they look like sounds, so I’m sure people actually needed to be warned.
That’s not funny. My uncle died that way.
Just remember, the warning label is there because someone tried to sue…
ow. that’s all.
I think more things need illustrated (and if at all possible, ‘Engrish’) warnings to make you cringe.
Scanner, cart stock, color printer, scissors, stock art, photoshop…
Look on someone’s face when they see the instructions… PRICELESS.
Just think of the stupidest, worst possible abuses for a product, and run with it.
It’s what that indestructible plastic packaging is made for – alternate labeling!
Prayer beads (not for anal insertion)
Pipe cleaner (not a recommended treatment for STD)
Drill bit (not for teeth)
Auger bit (not for brain surgery)
Reciprocating saw (sawz-all) [All manner of ‘Do Not’]
Circular saw blade (Not a frisbee)
Chainsaw (Not for zombie movie re-enactments)
Salad forks (Not for ‘piercings’)
You are an evil genius.
It would be more fun with things that aren’t obviously hazardous: Blankets (do not use as food container!), DVD blanks (will not protect against laser blasts!), spatulas (do not chop wood with utensil!), Barbie dolls (use your imagination…)
Wait, you can’t use prayer beads like that? I’ve been doing it wrong all along? Dammit.
Probably shopped, but easily mistaken for Not Parody.
It’s not any less stupid than the windshield shades I saw that said “Don’t drive with this on.” And I saw that one on the shades themselves — definitely not altered. 🙂
It is shopped, but I’ve sounded with a screwdriver. It’s not for everyone, but I love the feel a lot.
Don’t bash it ’til you’ve tried it. ^_~
Pfft! Well… I’m not going to use a FULL SIZED screwdriver to tighten my penіs! What are THEY thinking?
lol… for some reason i don’t really have a feeling that it would tighten up your penis…
And you need a miniature spanner set to tighten your nuts.
So, then….a vagina is totally fine, right?
You use the handle end for that.
Dear god…..Think of the horrors that might transpire if the word “not” was covered with tape or something of the like….
Definitely shopped. Second text line is different color, different edge sharpness, different size (look at S), and not parallel to first line.
The diagonal line and arc at the bottom (and probably the circle) have been added to the illustration.
Thus the illustration does make sense without the added text: it shows how to hold a jeweler’s screwdriver properly, which is helpful since a lot of people don’t know why there’s a turny bit at the top end.
PS or not, why (oh, why!?) do that? Why put that thought out there? *shiver*
this was on failblog i think.
They’re trying to distinguish it from their *other* set of screwdriver-like, ribbed metal rods.
I know why this is on there! Someone must’ve tried using them as cheap sounds..:[
Seen these sold in dollar stores… they are so disturbingly real.
I’m a little wiser, and a little more depressed, knowing about another disgusting and barbaric thing men do to themselves.
ykinmk. in this case yours appearing to be being holier-than-thou
Great, now they tell me.
…’cause if you take the screw out, it’ll fall off.
OH! OH! OW! I don’t even HAVE a penis and that hurts me!!!!!!
HAHAHAHA!!…NO but seriously, was there alot of this happening somewhere? O.o
My only thought is: For the love of God why would you do this?
Well, see guys, the thing is… This has happened before. I have seen it. There is a video on the Internet called “One Man One Screwdriver”. And it isn’t one of these wimpy things either, it’s a REAL screwdriver, the kind with the plastic handles.
Warning, look that shit up AT YOUR OWN RISK. I take no responsibility for mind scarring as the result of said video.
Things I did not know.
Gotta luv the internet!
You keep using that word, “screwdriver.” I don’t think it means what you think it means…
I saw a video where someone actually did that…
This brings back horrible memories. *shudder*
This is a repost of a Failblog post from 2009…
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