Incredibly Good Advice

Incredibly Good Advice

Submitted by: SP Riley via Oddly Specific

It scares me that they need to warn someone about this.

This entry was posted in ...Seriously?, caution, Image, Oddly Translated, Warning! and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

100 Responses to Incredibly Good Advice

  1. Mike says:

    If they didn’t someone probably would. That’s the REALLY scary part…

    • Kris says:

      Agreed!

      *shivers and crosses legs even though she doesn’t have that eqiupment*

    • toXicus says:

      You’re right. Maybe they should have a warning for women too…

    • JL Bachs says:

      I love Harbor Freight. God bless the (hinese.

    • Will says:

      […]doesn’t have that eqiupment*

      You’re not talking about the tools, right? 😉

    • lawshark2010 says:

      All product warnings are there because somebody WAS stupid enough to do that, hence the need to warn others not to do the same thing.

    • knowitall says:

      The ironic thing is, even more people do it after the warning brings the idea to their attention!

    • Chief says:

      Thank Mr. Hands for this and horse related warnings…

    • Someone says:

      And what makes it even MORE scary, is that a picture was required as well.

    • starsky says:

      No, scary is that they wouldn’t have put that label on unless someone had already done it, and had it … ended badly.

    • Nell Hansen says:

      Meaning the manufacturer lost the lawsuit.

      Never put an important decision before a panel of 12 people too stupid to get out of jury duty.

    • isecondthat says:

      i do it every night before i go to bed…
      i dont understand what you guys are getting so wound up about… its just a little blood and foreskin that winds up on my floor… so what?

    • toXicus says:

      …?

    • Responder says:

      AT LEAST one person did it and probably sued them. It takes a lot to get a product warning on a label. Especially one that is so specific.

  2. Steve says:

    Incredibly old picture.

  3. Mike says:

    It’s not too bad until you get to #1.

    • Patrick says:

      If you think 1 is bad, you clearly haven’t seen some of the sounding rods out there. I can’t even fathom the how or why of it.

    • Marita says:

      Totally agree; it’s friggin’ creepy how big they can get. It make sense though: You use one size, eventually you stretch out to the point where you’d need something bigger.

    • toXicus says:

      …? 0_o

    • Xenobio says:

      Sounding is one of those things that doctors do as part of very unpleasant medical exams and perverts do for fun. Like enemas.

  4. hazlecreek says:

    The sad part is, it must have already happened or they wouldn’t have to warn you about it.

  5. Cath says:

    yikes and blimey cubed!

  6. Sam D says:

    the second line of text looks photoshopped to me 😐

    • Feyn says:

      I second that.
      its not exactly parallel to the first line

    • Marita says:

      Printed in a different color… if it was the old-school, type-setting print style… and the photo does look old…

    • CodeRed says:

      This is Photoshopped, i have a set of these at home. It simply shows a picture of someone using the screwdriver in the circle. Put a line through the circle, add a funny warning, the screw looks just enough like a penis already, and viola!

    • me says:

      errr… *voila u mean?

    • Amy says:

      I own them too, and checked them when I saw this. Totally ‘shopped.

  7. Dan says:

    I cringed

  8. User McUser says:

    It’s called “Sounding”. You probably shouldn’t Google that term.

    • Duke says:

      Correction: You DEFINITELY shouldn’t Google that term.

    • that random guy says:

      so i’ll explain it instead.
      sounding is inserting objects into the urethra. seeing as the urethra is very sensitive, some people find sounding very pleasurable.
      as long as you’re not squeamish about inserting stuff into your urethra, then go right on ahead.
      BUT.
      do NOT use hard or straight materials. there is special equipment for sounding, and is safe under fair use.

    • Xenobio says:

      LOL, “fair use” as in you can post it on Wikipedia? (I’m kidding, please don’t) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fair_use

    • Mental Mouse says:

      A more formal name would be “urethral masturbation”. You probably shouldn’t Google that either…

    • DeadBob says:

      Too late!

    • isecondthat says:

      KIDS IN THE SANDBOX, ANYONE?
      fapfapfapfapfapfap

    • BarytaQ says:

      This is yet another thing that you should never, ever, ever, ever, in the eternity of the cosmos, google.

  9. dw says:

    Let’s please get rid of all the warning labels telling people not to do abjectly stupid things. Let the morons weed themselves out of the gene pool!

    • Em The Mildly Amazing says:

      Seconded!

    • Duke says:

      All in favor?

      Motion carried.

    • CK159 says:

      Warning: Coffee is hot
      Warning: Light cigarettes don’t magically make them safer
      Warning: Don’t stick your screw driver into the appliance before pulling the plug
      Warning: This thing has shiny lasers. Don’t try to play track 4 while looking there.
      Warning: If it can dissolve 2 month old dinner from the pipes, just think what it will do when you take a bath in it.
      If nothing else, just think of all the ink and sticker glue stuff that could be saved!

    • riku910 says:

      warning, always read lube lable (Plane glue… “HONEY! MY HAND IS STUCK AGAIN!” or “PULL OUT!” ‘rrriiiipp’ “AHHHH…”) forklift, not to eat with. gun, do not look in barrel to see if empty. pokemon, seizure center. mop, not for kissing practice. condoms, not for dildo’s/not a kids baloon. garbage bags, not to put an old, homeless women in. hotdog… use your imagination on this (female use)

    • Damage says:

      Does Sir read bash too?

      http://bash.org/?4753

      Or did Sir just have an epiphany and realise the solution to at least 50% of the worlds problems as well?

  10. A Noun says:

    It’s that wacky language barrier again…they just don’t get what the word screw is supposed to mean here.

  11. SEN5241 says:

    Pretty sure this is ‘shopped

  12. Seibee says:

    The question being why anyone would /want/ to stick that up there..

    • hdaid says:

      from what I’ve heard, sounding is suppose to be extremely pleasurable…
      Still makes me cringe though, hahaha.

    • Patrick says:

      With the right tools, from what I hear (no personal experience), but not with something that can/likely will rip the urethra to shreds. THAT, they call masochism.

  13. cinderkeys says:

    Oh my god. That’s a thing?

    I’m in total agreement with dw here, and not just because we need to cleanse the gene pool. The more companies provide warning labels like this, the more companies will be on the hook to provide even more extensive and ridiculous warning labels. “The instructions didn’t say I shouldn’t stab myself in the eye with this knitting needle. I’m suing!”

    • master baiter says:

      Well, that’s America weeding itself out of the gene pool for you… I don’t know of any other country where idiocy can be taken to such increadibly breathtaking heights by completely serious people in serious business suits.

    • Mitsuki says:

      And that is why I hope to one day move to a country far, far away.

    • benny says:

      Actually, that particular form of masturbation was relatively unknown in the United States until the publication of the book Haunted. Unless I’m much mistaken, sounding was first “perfected” in the middle east/Turkey.

      A–hole.

    • eriatarka says:

      I love Palahniuk too, but I kind of think you’re giving him a little too much credit there.

    • Patrick says:

      I have seen plenty of idiocy in other countries. And sounding (look it up) isn’t strictly an American pass-time.

    • Rattus says:

      Yes, idiocy is global, but suing in response to one’s own idiocy is a primarily American activity, and that litigious spirit is the father of all these ridiculous warnings.

    • BarytaQ says:

      and that children is what christmas is all about.

    • master baiter says:

      Yeah, well, I lived all over the globe, and I agree that America doesn’t have a monopoly on idiocy. However, INSTITUTIONALISED idiocy is another matter. It should be by now enshrined in the Constitution, you know, every citizen’s right to be an idiot, and to sue someone else for it.

    • shredded says:

      Hey guys, I hear that intelligence is equal to morality and that all stupid people deserve to die – amirite?!

      (Not that I’m defending people who sue for stupid crap; that’s not being an idiot, that’s being an asshole.)

  14. Manda says:

    Um…. EWWWWWwwwwwwww w w w . . . .

  15. Sir Unimaginative says:

    I don’t know if it’s photoshopped, but it’s definitely altered.

    First, the warning text is parallel to the image’s borders, not to the product’s name.

    Second, the warning text is yellower and not as sharp.

    Third, the image doesn’t make sense without the warning text. (There isn’t enough context to determine whether or not the image would have been put on a general-audience retail product in the first place, so I won’t go there.)

  16. Random Joe says:

    Yea, I agree with User McUser…they look like sounds, so I’m sure people actually needed to be warned.

  17. Blikk Terrible says:

    That’s not funny. My uncle died that way.

  18. lurker9000 says:

    Just remember, the warning label is there because someone tried to sue…

  19. bigyellowdinosaur says:

    ow. that’s all.

  20. evildave says:

    I think more things need illustrated (and if at all possible, ‘Engrish’) warnings to make you cringe.

    Scanner, cart stock, color printer, scissors, stock art, photoshop…

    Look on someone’s face when they see the instructions… PRICELESS.

    Just think of the stupidest, worst possible abuses for a product, and run with it.

    It’s what that indestructible plastic packaging is made for – alternate labeling!

    Prayer beads (not for anal insertion)

    Pipe cleaner (not a recommended treatment for STD)

    Drill bit (not for teeth)

    Auger bit (not for brain surgery)

    Reciprocating saw (sawz-all) [All manner of ‘Do Not’]

    Circular saw blade (Not a frisbee)

    Chainsaw (Not for zombie movie re-enactments)

    Salad forks (Not for ‘piercings’)

    • DeadBob says:

      You are an evil genius.

    • Mental Mouse says:

      It would be more fun with things that aren’t obviously hazardous: Blankets (do not use as food container!), DVD blanks (will not protect against laser blasts!), spatulas (do not chop wood with utensil!), Barbie dolls (use your imagination…)

    • 5150 says:

      Wait, you can’t use prayer beads like that? I’ve been doing it wrong all along? Dammit.

    • BarytaQ says:

      Hail Mary!

  21. Bob says:

    It’s shopped!

  22. cinderkeys says:

    Probably shopped, but easily mistaken for Not Parody.

    It’s not any less stupid than the windshield shades I saw that said “Don’t drive with this on.” And I saw that one on the shades themselves — definitely not altered. 🙂

  23. Happy Guy says:

    It is shopped, but I’ve sounded with a screwdriver. It’s not for everyone, but I love the feel a lot.

    Don’t bash it ’til you’ve tried it. ^_~

  24. Nelson says:

    Pfft! Well… I’m not going to use a FULL SIZED screwdriver to tighten my penіs! What are THEY thinking?

  25. Allie says:

    So, then….a vagina is totally fine, right?

  26. elr says:

    Dear god…..Think of the horrors that might transpire if the word “not” was covered with tape or something of the like….

  27. Gerg says:

    Definitely shopped. Second text line is different color, different edge sharpness, different size (look at S), and not parallel to first line.
    The diagonal line and arc at the bottom (and probably the circle) have been added to the illustration.

    Thus the illustration does make sense without the added text: it shows how to hold a jeweler’s screwdriver properly, which is helpful since a lot of people don’t know why there’s a turny bit at the top end.

  28. Sage says:

    this was on failblog i think.

  29. Laura C says:

    They’re trying to distinguish it from their *other* set of screwdriver-like, ribbed metal rods.

  30. Kleanthes says:

    I know why this is on there! Someone must’ve tried using them as cheap sounds..:[

    http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Sound

  31. tehreporter says:

    IT’S STUCK!

  32. Kusac says:

    Seen these sold in dollar stores… they are so disturbingly real.

  33. JB says:

    I’m a little wiser, and a little more depressed, knowing about another disgusting and barbaric thing men do to themselves.

  34. Sargasm says:

    Great, now they tell me.

  35. HellOnWeelz says:

    …’cause if you take the screw out, it’ll fall off.

  36. SympatheticLady says:

    OH! OH! OW! I don’t even HAVE a penis and that hurts me!!!!!!

  37. Takaska says:

    HAHAHAHA!!…NO but seriously, was there alot of this happening somewhere? O.o

  38. Babyseal says:

    My only thought is: For the love of God why would you do this?

  39. Shade says:

    Well, see guys, the thing is… This has happened before. I have seen it. There is a video on the Internet called “One Man One Screwdriver”. And it isn’t one of these wimpy things either, it’s a REAL screwdriver, the kind with the plastic handles.

    Warning, look that shit up AT YOUR OWN RISK. I take no responsibility for mind scarring as the result of said video.

  40. Things I did not know.

    Gotta luv the internet!

  41. Roxie says:

    You keep using that word, “screwdriver.” I don’t think it means what you think it means…

  42. Oddbob says:

    I saw a video where someone actually did that…
    This brings back horrible memories. *shudder*

  43. Purianite says:

    This is a repost of a Failblog post from 2009…

  44. Lisa Pattillo says:

    ee gads

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