Bums/Drunks/Hookers Need Not Apply

Funny Signs - Bums/Drunks/Hookers Need Not Apply

Submitted by: London, England 2006 via Oddly Specific

Isn’t there a Cher song like this?

This entry was posted in Just Plain Weird, Oddly Worded, Prohibited, Unhelpful and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

48 Responses to Bums/Drunks/Hookers Need Not Apply

  1. Andy says:

    I have one of these 😀 I put it on our front door.

  2. rab3 says:

    If that was on the White House door no one in the Obama administration would be able to get in.

  3. Jen says:

    Bums/Drunks/Hookers … and Musicians!!

  4. Nienna says:

    These were actually quite common in the 19th and early 20th century. Doesn’t make them any less comical though!

  5. Dan says:

    That’s not the shocking part look at the form above it, “Each employee must pay not less that ONE GUINEA each year to the church, and attend Sunday school every Sunday.” One Guinea, I REALLY hope they dont mean pigs!!!

    • DeadBob says:

      It was 1901, they MIGHT have meant Italians???

    • fattoler says:

      A Guinea is one pound and six shillings.

    • Jessi says:

      And, incidentally, also one of the possible (but somewhat disproved) sources for the name Guinea Pig (the theory is that they used to cost a guinea).

    • Dan says:

      I did not know that. Learn something new everyday.

    • Hmmm says:

      I thought it was one pound and one shilling.

      The idea was that guineas were paid to tradesmen. One pound for the man and a shilling for his boy.

    • Hmmm says:

      Just checked – one guinea is worth 21 shillings. As there are 20 shillings in a pound it is worth one pound and one shilling.

    • Dave says:

      Classic piece of folk etymology there, I’m afraid. It’s actually far simpler: a guinea was originally a pound’s (20 shilling’s) worth of gold. As the value of gold fluctuated, the value of guinea coins fluctuated, at one point going as high as 30 shillings. Eventually Britain adopted the gold standard, and fixed the guinea at 21 shillings.

      We find this kind of thing hard to understand today, with our perfectly uniform, perfectly fungible currency, but there was a time when two coins of the same denomination were not necessarily worth the same – one might have been clipped, worn, and so-on until it wouldn’t be accepted at full value, and a brand-new one might go for a slight premium on the face value because people tended to horde the sounder currency.

    • Truth says:

      Nice try, but not quite.

  6. A-118 says:

    Hey, at least you can get one night for courting.

  7. orion says:

    Men are given one evening a week for courting purposes and two if they pray? This really is oddly specific.

    • Someone says:

      Also, if you’ve worked 14 hours or more, you’re not allowed anymore to do with your free time as you want, but you’re forced to read literature.

    • Kusac says:

      Yeah, I want to read the rest of that particular post too.

    • Dave says:

      Sadly it’s not real, though. These kind of fabricated signs are almost always fakes*, designed to give a bit of ‘atmosphere’. They used to come printed on tea-towels…

      [*Fake is a bit wrong. They’re faux-accurate renditions of something that never actually existed.]

    • ILikeShinyThings says:

      Something very much like this did exist, though, as the rules for nursing students at a hospital here in Cincinnati in the 19th century. The students were allowed one afternoon off per week for courting purposes and one afternoon for church. And they HAD to go to church, it wasn’t an option.

  8. Seibee says:

    And woe betide you get shaved at one of those new-fangled barber’s…

    • Nack says:

      Right, it’s going to make a person’s boss doubt the honesty and integrity you have. Though, one is suspicious of the “alround”, rather than “all around”.

  9. dw says:

    Now pan the camera to the list of punishments to see if it includes burning at the stake.

  10. rosemary says:

    Rly means railway, a guinea was in fact one pound and one shilling (sterling)

  11. Stephen Parkin says:

    A Guinea is one pound and one shilling, not 6. Quite a lot, in those days.

  12. Razor says:

    as an ‘itinerant musician’ myself.. I find this offensive and segregating.. what do non-itinerant musicians have that I don’t? LOL

  13. alex says:

    Here’s a photo of the same top sign which I find to be even more specific than the bottom one: http://consult-me.blogspot.com/2008/02/notice-to-shop-assistants.html

  14. Marvelous Mira says:

    I’m just curious where this is. I mean, it says London, but that’s vague. Also, why?

  15. Tai says:

    Someone I deliver parcels to has one of these on their gate!

  16. Nicky says:

    “After 14 hours works, spare time should be devoted to reading good literature. ”

    Which means read the GOOD books, not badly written ones like Twilight. 😉

    • Tami says:

      Good literature means GOOD books? I never would have guessed.

      And bringing Twilight up in conversations which have nothing to do with it won’t help it be forgotten.

  17. Lassie says:

    Like the Bible? No daydreaming about vampires, that will make you a woman of doubtful reputation!

  18. Amee says:

    “And the sign said long haired freaky people need not apply….”

  19. jgt2598 says:

    “females of doubtful reputation”? I guess they must want some man-whores.

  20. D.M. says:

    “And the sign said, ‘Long-haired freaky people need not apply.'”

  21. Mrelia says:

    I have added this wording to my “No Soliciting” sign on the front door.
    It used to read:
    “No Soliciting
    Deliveries please ring bell.”

    Salespeople and delivery people alike ignored it.

    Since putting up my new sign:

    It is forbidden for vagrants, beggars, itinerant musicians and females of doubtful reputation to enter these premises.
    By Order.

    Both solicitors and delivery people comply.

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