Wildlife Wednesday Part 1: Let’s Get Physical

Welcome to Wildlife Wednesday here on Oddly Specific!

Today I’m going to tell you about Mother Nature’s silent killer: Sarah Palin BP animal obesity.

After watching Over the Hedge three times doing extensive research, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s all Dreamworks’ fault. Shame on them for glorifying junk food that way!

Fortunately, there’s hope. A group of whackjobs PETA members animal rights activists have posted some helpful signs to raise awareness.

Warning:  Stupid Red Squirrels

Submitted by: Scotland,UK via Oddly Specific

It’s not their fault they’ve gained so much weight they can barely move. Imagine if you were constantly gorging on delicious french fries, all crispy and salty and golden brown….

What was I saying? Oh! Don’t make fun of the fat squirrels!

Funny Signs - This Place is Self-Serve

Submitted by: Outside My Apartment Complex via Oddly Specific

Here’s a step in the right direction. Don’t feed the geese from the patio, make them come all the way to the back door! You can never get too much cardio.

Funny Signs - The Avian Diet

Submitted by: dunno source via Oddly Specific

This sign is perfect. The pigeons are acknowledging their weight problem and asking for help. It’s nice to finally see animals with a sense of personal responsibility.

This entry was posted in Informational Signage, instructions and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Wildlife Wednesday Part 1: Let’s Get Physical

  1. Attention says:

    This is not a comment

  2. Seibee says:

    Squirrels: physically slow, or mentally slow? That is the question.

    • CK159 says:

      At first glance, I thought the squirrel was a flame. Maybe the sign is referring to myself…

  3. Max S says:

    Those silly animal rights activists; don’t they realise they’re just advertising the availability of slow squirrels for foxes? Fat and slow squirrels will just lead to fat and slow foxes.

    This of course could be a very cunning long-term plan by the animal rights activists. Make the foxes fat and slow and those evil hunter types (the ones in the red coats with the bugles and the beagles) might stop wanting to hunt them.

    It’s either a work of lunacy or genius or both.

  4. Max S says:

    I suspect the DO NOT FEED THE GEESE FROM THE PATIO sign was put there by THE SWANS FROM THE LAKE. These bird gangs are becoming a real nuisance and these kinds of territorial markings are only a small step-up from when they started spraying their tags all over places of natural beauty.

  5. malkatz says:

    I’m so confused. Wouldn’t NOT picking up litter help the pigeons with their weight? They would have to fly all the way to the ground instead of flying to the rim of the trashcan.

    • N/A says:

      Boston also has nifty compacting trash cans in many areas so the garbage isn’t just sitting in the open. Pigeons have way more chance of getting the food off the ground than our of a trash can.

  6. howcheng says:

    It’s OK to feed the geese from the pond, but ones who are sitting on the patio are assholes.

  7. says:

    Squirrel slowly! And those geese from the patio, yeah, don’t feed those.

  8. Gordon Way says:

    That reminds me, God, I hope I remembered to pack the shotguns. What is it with these Americans that they’re always so mad to shoot my rabbits? I bought them some maps in the hope that I can persuade them to go on long healthy walks and take their minds off shooting rabbits. I really feel sorry for the creatures. I think I should put one of those signs on my lawn when the Americans are coming, you know, like they have in Beverly Hills, saying ‘Armed Response.’

    Make a note to Susan, would you please, to get an ‘Armed Response’ sign made up with a sharp spike on the bottom at the right height for rabbits to see. That’s secretary Susan at the office, not you, of course.

  9. MM says:

    The ‘whackjobs’ thing should have been kept out of it. Caring for animals doesn’t make a person crazy. PETA probably takes it a bit too far, though.

    • says:

      Killing animals to tell people not to kill animals? Yeah, I’d call that too far.

    • Would you STFU about that already? 2,000 a year is NOT a lot compared to the 2,000,000,000 or so that you guys kill. Lethal Injection is PAINLESS compared to your ripping bird’s heads off with your bare hands, or throwing them in boiling water, or killing “inedible” pigs by locking them in solitary confinement until they starve.

      Clean up your own act before you badmouth our euthanasia policy, will you?

      And BTW, just because they’re “adoptable” doesn’t mean that people will adopt them, or that no-kill shelters have the money to care for them.

      Closing Comment: You should probably surrender here. It’s impossible to win an argument against a real-life PETA activist. Go ahead. Try. I’ve got enough ammo to take down all the evil Russians in VideoGameLand.

    • Power2theQ says:

      The lesser evil is still evil. Just going by your logic 😉

      By the way: It’s impossible to win an argument against someone that is mentally challenged. Unless you don’t care what they think 😉

    • Bastard of Light says:

      There’s a little evil in all of us. The argument is who has the least.

      And what do you mean, I can’t win an argument against someone who is mentally challenged? Those people use mentally challenged logic, like “PETA kills 2,000 animals a year and we kill 2,000,000,000, so PETA is more evil than us”

      And fine. It’s your decision not to care. Become obese, destroy the enviroment, and reap punishment in the afterlife for blatant, unrepetant support of this genocide. I don’t care.

    • PsychoDad says:

      PETA =is= a bunch of loons, whackjobs, self-hating humans, you name it.

      Humans have grown like a cancer. We’re the biggest blight on the face of the earth. – Washingtonian magazine

      Probably everything we do is a publicity stunt … we are not here to gather members, to please, to placate, to make friends. We’re here to hold the radical line. – USA Today

      I think [food producers] should appreciate that we’re only targeting their property. Because frankly I think it’s time to start targeting them. “Conference on Organized Resistance,”

  10. Hmmm says:

    The squirrels sign is because in the UK our native red squirrel is very rare and protected. They only live in a few places since the introduction of the grey squirrel which can be found damn near anywhere.
    Seems they live in this part of Scotland and the sign is to warn drivers to slow down lest they hit one.

  11. dante says:

    At Yosemite National Park they actually explain it to you: overfed, fat, slow squirrels are easy prey. Easy prey draws predators. So if you don’t want bears and mountain lions hanging out in the picnic areas (more than they do already, anyway, it being a wildlife area and all that), don’t feed the damn squirrels!

  12. PsychoDad says:

    Final word: PETA openly advocating terrorism. I know that term is overused and somewhat derided these days, but the following calls for is precisely the defintion of it.

    [audio src="http://www.animalscam.com/downloads/peta_friedrich.wav" /]

  13. Kyle says:

    Product warning labels are for the weak… I say save humanity, bring back natural selection!

  14. DonQui says:

    My Japanese is not good enough to actually be able to read the sign, but still in katakana it says “tackle” on the uppermost sign. Wth is up with that? Are they seriously afraid people will try to tackle bears?

  15. TeeBee says:

    “What? You callin’ me fat? Is there a problem with the way I look to you? Am I obese? Is that what you’re tryin’ to tell me? Huh? What? OK THAT’S IT!”

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