Funny Signs - You Saw NOTHING!

Submitted by: nikki via Oddly Specific

We may never know what shut this place down.

Post your reasons in the comments.

I guess the noodle incident caught up with them after all. –Snookie_Townshend

*Mod Note*
+100 internets for a Calvin and Hobbes reference!

This entry was posted in Informational Signage, Just Plain Weird, Unhelpful and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

84 Responses to You Saw NOTHING!

  1. Dan says:

    Why??????? Why do I have to go home? Why can’t I go the shop across the street? Why can’t my dog drive a car? Why is your door so reflective? And Why can’t I ask why?

  2. Rehevkor says:

    They were closed by order of the Grammar Police.

  3. Anna says:

    In Soviet Russia, STORE CLOSES YOU…but only if you ask too many questions.

  4. Arwyn says:

    Something tells me Joe was in on it…

  5. ido says:

    The Maffia is behind it.

  6. bob_super says:

    (New-York Sicilian accent) If we tell you not to ask questions boy, you don’t ask questions. This store is off-limits, that’s all you need to know. Uncle Vinny here will show you to your car, we moved it to the back for your convenience…

  7. Katey says:

    They didn’t realize they’d built on top of an Indian cemetary.

  8. Andrea says:

    Because of the Squirrels.

  9. theclerk says:

    Reminds me of my first job, when I was working at Taco Bell.

    One day we had a sign like this on the exterior of the building. It read, “Power turned off, closed for five days until bill paid in full”.

    The real reason was because the health inspector had shown up, and I took him on a private tour on every disgusting thing my general manager had done in that place.

  10. Nunny-Mouse says:


    alley out back have no more cats.

  11. Snookie_Townshend says:

    I guess the noodle incident caught up with them after all.

    • carafe says:

      1-UP for that comment 😀

    • _*rachel*_ says:

      You totally trumped my answer–42.

    • Robert says:

      After Hobbes left him for Mr. Bun, Calvin, desparingly, looked to capitalism as an outlet for his crushed spirit. He found inept aptitude for crafting and marketing various breakfast cereals, but when his latest invention goes horribly awry, old wrongs are remembered and Calvin finds himself on the run. No where to run, no where to hide, and no one to turn to, Calvin has to find a way to redeem himself once and for all.

      Calvin and Hobbes: Redemption, coming to a theater to you Spring 2013

    • Kay says:


  12. Horsewithnoname says:

    Perhaps they got tired of “Joe” trying to sell them DirectTV?

  13. EchoOfTheWolf says:

    My guess? Probably Game Crazy. I worked at one that closed last year, and very nearly did the same. Answering the same damn thing to 50 people a day is a bit taxing on even the nicest people in the world. I swear, people would not leave without asking if we were just moving, or if there membership could be reimbursed, even if it only had a month left.

    A typical day had me thinking this: “I’m sorry, you didn’t see the sign that said ‘Closing’ and not ‘Moving to a new location’? Oh, you’re angry that ‘your’ game store is closing? Try losing your job with no explanation and people that can’t seem to learn how to read signs bugging you all day. You have the internet? Good, go read one of the 1,200 blog entries and forum posts of people like me who got sick of people pestering him for no reason other than they want something to gossip about.” There was more, but you get the idea.

    Sixty percent of the stores closed then, and now Movie Gallery (owners of Hollywood Video and Game Crazy) decided that there was SOOO much more money in the video rental business (hold your laughter, please) and thought it would be a great idea to close all the Game Crazy stores, the only thing making them any money. I can’t help but think there decision is part of some elaborate way to make sure the execs got their bonuses, but Sherif Mityas, one of the big dogs in the company, jumped ship after the first mass closeout was announced.

    All in all, it comes down to stupid executives, and even stupider investors. Most of this was decided by the latter, thinking, ‘Oh, the movie business is bigger than video games, so consequently, we HAVE to be making more with movie rentals than game sales! We am smart!’

    • EchoOfTheWolf says:

      Sorry, btw, for the long post. A lot of built up rage just thinking about it all. That job was all I had to keep me going for quite a while.

    • Kris says:

      I’m with you, Echo. I was a manager at a Movie Gallery, and they shut us down last October, with no notice. Some guy came in, handed me his business card, and said “You have 15 minutes to vacate the premises. Your store is now closed.” In fact, in the fourth quarter, I think they closed up about 80% of the Canadian stores. I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say the company’s going under…
      I also still hold some built up rage about it, so you’re not alone there!

    • geekgirl says:

      Ouch, that’s just low. They didn’t give the staff any warning at all?
      I don’t get how a company would be pushing video rental over games in this day and age, I mean who still rents movies? But I guess that would be why they’re closing left and right. I don’t rent so I don’t know much about the industry anymore but it seems to me there’s still a way bigger market for game rentals.

    • Shay says:

      I don’t rent… but I like to buy used DVDs, and would always get them from Hollywood. I REFUSE to go to Blockbuster because they edit and censor films.

    • bob_super says:

      As described I would have sent the guy away politely but firmly. I can walk into any store with a business card from their corporate office. If it’s not my boss telling me or someone above him that I know in the hierarchy, how do I know it’s legit? (that’s even before laws about giving warnings kick in).

    • Winni-Pig says:

      Your note was written a while ago, but I just wanted to say not to apologize for it, the lack of loyalty to employees has reached epidemic proportions.

      And to the others who posted similar experiences below, I thank you too for the perspective. Hope things are going better for you.

    • geekgirl says:

      Oh, I’m right there with you, rant away, better yet, I’ll join you. :p
      The fabric store I worked at took forever to close. Worst months of my life. It really is a special hell having to listen to all the customers whinge about how they have to find a new place to shop (6 other locations in town) while I had to find a new place to work IN THE MIDDLE OF A RECESSION. I wanted to yell “SUCKS TO BE YOU!” every time. And the asinine questions that you really can’t be bothered to go into for the 300th time that morning when they don’t really want to hear the whole story in the first place.
      I didn’t realize the complete self absorbsion of people until then.
      We had “closing out” across the entire front window, a sign as you walked into the store (that you had to walk around), one at each cutting table and everything in the store was marked down at least 60% (we never did a whole store sale more than 50% normally) and we had condensed to the point where more that half the store was completely empty. I had a woman get all the way to the till and still not clue in. She told me she’s see me next month. I told her we’d be gone by then and she didn’t believe me. (“stores are always saying that, they don’t mean it”)
      A week after we had closed and we were just fishing up moving out the big cases and stuff, windows totallly covered, a set of women actually walked in around the movers truck, over the ramp that was blocking the door, got 20 feet into the store before they clued something wasn’t right. Had a guy come in same day, same thing, “where’s the broadcloth?” We all burst out laughing. Another guy nearly smashed the doors window pounding on it, demanding we open for him ’cause he could see us in there and the door was locked. (maybe for a reason dumbass?) I don’t know what he thought we were going to sell him as we were sitting in the middle of a store with no stock eating our lunch on the floor cause the chairs went in the last load.
      I generally like working retail, but I will never stick around for that kind of thing ever again.

    • The Amazing Rando says:

      Something I hate in my slowly dying store is the people constantly asking “when are you guys closing?” or “wow, this mall is dead, they really oughta close this place.” Really? Are you serious? You’re making small talk about putting me out of a job? I’d love to just yell at these people sometime.

    • geekgirl says:

      I lucked out and had a great manager that didn’t get mad when we got curt (obviously not yelling though)with a customer after a long day of it all, but yeah, it’s really hard not to snark outright sometimes. I’d say start looking for something else now, it’s probably not worth the stress of sticking around on a sinking ship.

    • Chris says:


    • geekgirl says:

      Wow, I actually had to look that one up.
      So, the fact that I wasn’t actually talking to you aside; I’m supposed to be crushed and sorry that I couldn’t entertain you for the 3 whole seconds it took you to decide you’re to lazy to read something but had to point this deficiency of yours out anyway? WTF?

    • Harpuia says:

      That just made my day.

    • I am literate says:

      WTF? you actually had to point this out dumbass? Are you really that stupid? It took me 30 seconds to read. And I have not gone to those goofy speed reading classes. Bullshit in my opinion. |And not only are you too stupid to read but you are also too stupid to write “too long didn’t read”!? It is tards like you who bring down the literacy of todays population. No offense to those who are quite literate. But you sir are clearly illiterate.

    • The Amazing Rando says:

      I feel your pain, bro. I was a store director back in 2004 when they were just opening up in the area. I was unceremoniously fired after a year because we didn’t have any sales in a plaza with 4 other game stores. 6 store directors later, they closed that store. Now I’ve heard they’re all closing and it makes me kind of sad because that was THE most fun job I ever had. My mother suggested Hollywood created Game Crazy just so it could fail. Why? Massive tax write-offs, that’s why. Now I wonder if they were right.
      Anyway, Echo, I know exactly how you feel. Although my current store is a failing department store in an empty mall, so things haven’t improved that much for me. LOL

    • EchoOfTheWolf says:

      Wow, and here I was thinking I might end up getting a troll telling me to suck it up and quit bitching. This has happened to far too many people. Thanks for making me feel a bit better everybody!

      Now, I just heard the day before yesterday that the entire company is going down. Movie Gallery Corporate dug themselves an early grave with decisions like this, and the one thing that pisses me off most is that I lost the best job I’ve ever had in terms of sheer fulfillment, and the big wigs are all going to retire with fat pockets.

    • Shadowbane509 says:

      That might be why they’re closing down the stores…

    • Winni-Pig says:

      I felt very bad for the main guy who worked evenings at the one near us – poof, just gone one day. He’d been there for a really long time, relatively speaking.

  14. Fidget says:

    The neighborhood ran out of cats.

  15. Bourgeois_Cat says:

    This store was actually a front for a Russian Spy ring, but it is located in the middle of Kansas, so they’ve just now heard of the collapse of the USSR.

  16. TenPoundsOfBacon says:

    Why? because landlord is the devil! anyone remember that on fail blog?

  17. Cam says:

    They went overboard on their “cardboard and duct tape” budget.

  18. Juan MoTyme says:

    We b close, cuz I finna b up in bed sleep

  19. Gio says:

    Well, if the police car parked out front is any indication, I’m gonna guess that it was because a donut shop is moving in. Or possibly prostitution. But most likely the donut shop.

  20. Inara says:

    Not asking why, just backing away slowly…

  21. IQtest says:

    They loved you too long time….

  22. Seibee says:

    And pretend you were never here…

  23. the dark ferret says:

    “We may never know what shut this place down.”

    Because of their bad attitude, maybe?

  24. Dame Stickman says:

    The owners finally found Narnia, where they’ve gone because the dollar is still strong there. at a ratio of $1=5coins. Or they were selling Puerto Ricans. Either works.

  25. Anthea says:

    They got caught by the Grammar Police

  26. JMixx says:

    So, if I’m ever working in a store that is preparing to go out of business, I should type up a concise explanation of what is happening and why, and post it on the front door and the register under a big sign that says “GOING OUT OF BUSINESS! HERE’S WHY!”

    Lesson learned.

    • geekgirl says:

      Nope. They won’t read it. Apparently most people don’t read signs. I kind of wonder if they had one and they replaced it with this one cause no one was reading the other one and kept asking instead.

    • James says:

      God I feel you on that one. I used to work at a hotel. We had a front desk sign for when we were going to be away for a bit. It was just a simple “Will Return Shortly” sign. Anyhow, you wouldn’t believe how many people I would catch standing there screaming, “Hello?! Are you back there?! God damn it, answer me!” as I was coming back from the restroom, or from locking up the pool, etc.

      People like the “tl;dr” moron above are the ones who do that the most. And I hope they are just kidding, then I meet them. It gives me quite a sad.

  27. randomguy says:

    …cause im telling you why
    Santa Claus is coming to town!

  28. D says:

    Oddly enough, this sign seems to be pointed to the inside of the store, so if the same text isn’t written on the other side of the paper as well and the store already went out of business, I’m guessing a reason why the store’s done…

  29. Burger Queen says:

    My boss writes with his accent XD It’s just funny

  30. Court says:

    That dang dinosaur did it didn’t he!!

  31. BK says:

    Obama, Obama Care, Obama Spending, NO Obama Bail Out, etc…’Nuff Said’

  32. Scott says:


  33. Shay says:

    The Hokey Pokey… because maybe that IS what its all about.

  34. jess says:

    closed due to lack of ‘are’

  35. alice says:

    Is this them telling their employees?!It’s on the wrong side!

  36. Emma says:

    Tucker did it.

  37. badluck says:

    From what I can tell, it’s going to be a hell of a time trying to find a job when i’m old enough to make it necessary to find one. From what i’v read here, most business are not in the market for intellect.

    • geekgirl says:

      Stay in school, don’t work retail. 🙂 Retail has an incredibly high employee turn over, only thing higher I think, is the food industry. It’s hard for businesses to care about proper training and loyalty to people who are going to leave in, on average, 6 months or less. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy where no one in corporate cares and the customers and loyal employees get screwed.

  38. Gilbird says:

    Snookie came withing a 1000 foot radius, and the amount of fail she radiates forced the store to close down, or else all of the employees would have been killed due to and overload of fail in their system. Simple as that.

  39. James says:

    Time Warner Cable raised their rates. Again. For the seventeenth time this month. Oh, and they dropped the Disney Channel. The bad grammar guy can’t live without his ackwardly forced teen comedy that lacks any originality.

  40. Bluest says:

    I’m fairly sure my store will be posting something like that soon. When someone asks why, I’ll be able to say that we lost more money to theft than we brought in in sales, and it just wasn’t worth it anymore. Have fun shoplifting somewhere else, though. It’s bad when even the little old ladies rip you off. “This Location Closing. Go Steal Someone Else’s S**t”

  41. Bluest says:

    Oh….WE CLOSING….Spaceman Spiff battled a dinosaur here. We lost.

  42. Kirajenlove says:

    Why do I have to go home?? Why can’t I go to the store down the street??

  43. Lisa Pattillo says:

    I suspect something involving screwdrivers and penises…

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