Submitted by: dunno source via Oddly Specific
What will happen to me if I put the stamp somewhere else?
Post your punishments in the comments.
“This is a real nice letter you got here. Be a shame is somthin’ were to happen to it…” –Malicron
Well, If It’s For My Protection
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We want to keep those postal workers as calm as possible, so make it easy for them to find those stamps!
Concquences will never be the same!
WRAITH OF KHAN!!!!
So the ghost of Kahn is going to do what? You should google wraith…. I think you meant to use wrath…
he cud hav meant the wraith of kahn is gonna unleash his wrath on them. considering kahn is dead it wud hav 2 b his ghost
Depends on which Khan we’re talking about…
Chaka Khan is still very much alive.
Khan from Star Trek isn’t even born yet.
Djenghis Khan is has been dead for at least 100 years.
How about Praga Khan?
Maybe he meant wraith, as in the alien tank from Halo.
please tell me your not the same guy that thought doing a flip in those rings they put on bikes was called gerbling…
If you put the stamp somewhere else, the address of the letter will be shifted and it will end up in another city. Obviously.
Actually I think it has to do with the machines that read the envelopes, they expect the stamp in a certain place and if they can’t find it, it will go to manual processing and be delayed.
or maybe the machine will become a killbot.
Well, otherwise, the postman may try to kill you.
You mean, he may go postal?! 😛 😛
(… I know, I know. I’ll turn myself in to the Dreadful Pun Police.)
Not exactly a pun, since “gone postal” is in direct reference to the legend that postal workers have a tendency to go so nutty they’ll open fire in the workplace.
Well actually it is a pun, Since you could take it in reference to he would go postal and do his job properly or become a pyschotic killing machine with suicidal tendencies. Since it’s either a serious comment or could be taken as a badly thought out joke, it’s a pun. And there by punny….
It’s really not a pun at all. A pun is a play on words, not “a badly thought out joke.”
He used the phrase exactly as it was meant to be used, in the reference it originally came from. Complete opposite of a pun.
The phrase “going postal” did not come from legend, it came from a series of shootings by former postal workers, mainly in the early 90s. Most people don’t live around where trends, legends, and slang come out so they don’t see it as being real. I happen to live in Berkley, a couple miles from where one of the shootings took place (Royal Oak). I remember it being a really big deal but I was only 11 when it happened so I didn’t get to see exactly how the phrase spread. I guess I heard about it because my mom worked at the Bloomfield Hills post office at the time.
If you put the stamp somewhere else, they will send a disgruntled postal worker to find you.
No…If you put the stamp somewhere else…(which you shouldn’t)…
THE ENTIRE ENVELOPE WILL ESSPLODE!!!
KABOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!
especially if its a letterbomb
Your mail will be delivered more slowly.
Stamps are printed with magnetic inks. Sorters at the post office read the presence of the stamp and orient the envelope according to its placement. The envelope is then moved past a machine that reads the address. Proper orientation of the stamp vis-a-vis the address means that the envelope can be properly scanned and understood, facilitating automatic sorting.
If the stamp is put elsewhere, the envelope won’t be oriented properly, meaning that address is less likely to be read correctly. If the address cannot be read correctly, it is shunted aside for hand sorting, which takes longer.
you do know the purpose behind this was not education, right? I mean that’s great information to have…… you know……. just in case.
says the guy who just gave us an english lesson on puns up above…
I never knew that, but I’ve always wondered how mail gets sorted. Thanks for the info!
I don’t think so, here is what will happen:
the wrath of the gods will fall on your head, your shoes will become untied often, people will park in tour spot on your driveway, your life will be so bad that you will pay Zeeky H. Bomb to say zeekybeekydoog oh cru-
(insert a typed out explosion as a follow up comment)
But how is that “for your protection”? Why doesn’t it just say “Place Stamp Here” (or similar) like every other envelope?
Do not have unprotected mail. It has some pretty scary consequences.
Does it involve those little penny stamps running all over the place?
They will hack your computer and change your desktop’s wallpaper to an uncensored picture of Joan Rivers naked, straddling Larry King, who is also naked. You have been warned.
It’ll also give you a permanent wedgie, legally change your name to Reggie, and mess up the pH balance in your pool.
I don’t have a pool. If I put the stamp on wrong, will I get one?
No. Your bed will mysteriously become a water bed and somehow you’ll drown in the very acidic water it’s filled with.
Comment WIN! 😀
trying to find the negative in that scenario… Oh how I love me some joan rivers
If you put it on the palm of your hand, your life line will get cancelled!
You’ve heard the term, going postal? run, run away now.
Way make the same joke as 8 other people, it wasn’t funny the first 8 times maybe it’s because they weren’t number 9.
or we will nsend the gremlins to possess your snowplow with it labled return to sender…. WHO IS THIS ACCURSED SENDER PERSON!
Well, it’s the postal service after all. Whatever it is, it will come out of nowhere.
If you DON’T You will paper-cut your tongue off when you seal the envelope!!!
What if I seal the envelobe BEFORE I put the postage wrong?
Clearly they’ll mail you Chuck Norris.
Failure to comply will result in your face being dragged across hot coals for a few weeks 8D
haha if you put it somewhere else they Will find you
also, 1ST TO COMMENT!!!!
and 1ST TO FAIL!
yes
I guess not everybody has the same meaning of 1st =P
FAIL
lol ur waaaaaaaay off
FAIL
wow… you are really off… ive honestly never seen anyone first sooooo far away from first… its so off that im gonna have to eat a hobo.
first FAIL!
thats what i was trying to say 1st to fail comment
yeah, and not a single letter of the word “FAIL” was in there… i wonder why?
i dont believe you
The letter will come to life and demand you place the stamp correctly, if you refuse, it will eat your feet and thumbs as you sleep.
you will be stamped and feathered if you don’t…
you will be cursed with millions of paper cuts in place you don’t usually get paper cuts….bwahahaha
If you place the stamp without protection you will get an STD – Stop Transmitted Delivery.
“This is a real nice letter you got here. Be a shame is somthin’ were to happen to it…”
They will hunt you down and /return your mail./
Or.
Cut your tongue off with a letter opener, staunch the bleeding with stamps, and feed it to you. Then mummify you with packing tape and mail you to the San Francisco Torture Museum as a volunteer for Demonstration Week.
If the stamp is not placed in the exact spot advised, the League of the Obsessively Compulsively Disordered shall attack your home. You ever try to fight off hundreds of people with OCD? Just follow the instructions!
They’ll come to your house and stuff rabid weasels down your shirt.
It will spontaneously combust. Duh.
…then it will essplode. boom!
you will spontaneously combust DUH!!!
And THEN you will essplode! BOOM!
Failure to comply with the Postal Services terms and conditions will result in your tounge being surgically removed (as it appears that you are unable to use it anyway), plus a five dollar fine.
A five dollar fine?! Money grubbing bastards.
three days and three nights with nancy pelosi
OK, now that’s scary.
Ever wonder why you get so much junk mail???? Put the damn stamp in the correct place!!!!
Za German postman will killz himzelf!
Now I know why Inspecter Gadget’s letters were always exploding.
The first truly original and some what comical post….
You know Luke, you’re kind of an ass. But I love ya anyway. Trevor thinks you’re hilarious, though, in an assish way he can totally relate to.
illegitimately placed postal stamp go boom-boom!
agreed
the postman will stalk you, kidnap you after three weeks, and then proceed to torture you with numerous paper cuts and some lemon juice.
Santa’s elves will eat your guts.
This is to prevent PTIs.
Postal Transmitted Infections.
Remember, when you mail a letter, your mailing a letter to each and every person that the person you’re mailing a letter to has ever mailed a letter to. Always use protection.
You will be forced to go to the airport with this sign http://oddlyspecific.com/2010/04/03/just-leave-it-all/ with all those items on/in your person.
If you don’t ?
Then the letter will “come back” to haunt you for the rest of your life…
Do you really want your life to be ruined by 1×1 inch piece of paper ?
I don’t think so, buddy…
😀
A newly formed and emerging perfectionist sub-culture within the USA, hell bent on creating a utopic society, where only perfection will be tolerated, is behind the evil genious of affixing postage properly (amongst the multitude of other heinous schemes).
The mere act of licking or handling postage in any manner introduces a deadly viral contaminant to the user. When the postage is properly affixed to the designated area, the adhesive combines with another chemical to produce a colorless and odorless gas containing the antivirus.
(This is not real, just a ponderism as to why “for your protection”)
Win.
Well, duh. If you put it in another place, the envelope will (obiously) transform and try to eat you. Kind of like a Harry Potter ‘howler’, but more vicious. And with sharper teeth. *shudders*
an army of pioson covered flying string will come for you. they shall fly past u so fast they cut you, then the pioson willl seep in through the cut, turn u into a pig and uu will be hunted by the postman. they will then kill u. SLOWLY. with slow motion TNT
Fail.
*facepalm*
If you put the stamp somewhere else either the letter will explode or you shall be staked to an anthill and have little pickles thrown at you.
hahahaha
I would go with the picklants and the little pickle hill of ants or something…
Scylla and Charybdis will appear and destroy your house, and family, then wait for you to come home from work and laugh as you shed tears of despair for your failure to complete a rudimentary postal task.
Great reference, unless you got them from movies. They will nail you to a stump, light you on fire, and give you a butter knife. Unless you’re a chick, in which case they will do something so unspeakable you can’t even tell your counselor or a trusted adult. It’s called: *************
Wow. America’s “Be afraid or Die” Strategy is applied to *everything*
They will take you to the store that is closing, and make you ask “Why?” Oooohhh…..scary….
i’m laughing because on the day I finally get around to reading these comments the banner ads on my browser are for Canada Post.
They’re gonna #@#@ @$#! @!%#@& ^%* $^#@ you with a lead pipe covered in barbedwire
The noodle incident will catch up with you.
Death… by papercuts
They might chain you up and tickle you to death….
Well I don’t remember incorrectly placing any stamps, but my postal lady recently ran over our mailbox and knocked the post out of the ground!
placing it incorrectly will……….
damn, all the good ones have been said already 😦
Well… Momma always said to use protection!!!!!!!!!
put it on upside down and Mitt Romney will get elected