Well, If It’s For My Protection

Funny Signs - Well, If It's For My Protection

Submitted by: dunno source via Oddly Specific

What will happen to me if I put the stamp somewhere else?

Post your punishments in the comments.

“This is a real nice letter you got here. Be a shame is somthin’ were to happen to it…” –Malicron

This entry was posted in caution, instructions, Just Plain Weird, Warning! and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

104 Responses to Well, If It’s For My Protection

  1. Jess says:

    We want to keep those postal workers as calm as possible, so make it easy for them to find those stamps!

  2. Samara says:

    WRAITH OF KHAN!!!!

    • lukethetrucker says:

      So the ghost of Kahn is going to do what? You should google wraith…. I think you meant to use wrath…

    • switchblade says:

      he cud hav meant the wraith of kahn is gonna unleash his wrath on them. considering kahn is dead it wud hav 2 b his ghost

    • DeLuXo says:

      Depends on which Khan we’re talking about…

      Chaka Khan is still very much alive.
      Khan from Star Trek isn’t even born yet.
      Djenghis Khan is has been dead for at least 100 years.

    • joske says:

      How about Praga Khan?

    • snkboss says:

      Maybe he meant wraith, as in the alien tank from Halo.

    • randomguy78ra says:

      please tell me your not the same guy that thought doing a flip in those rings they put on bikes was called gerbling…

  3. me and only me says:

    If you put the stamp somewhere else, the address of the letter will be shifted and it will end up in another city. Obviously.

    Actually I think it has to do with the machines that read the envelopes, they expect the stamp in a certain place and if they can’t find it, it will go to manual processing and be delayed.

  4. nicklepedd says:

    Well, otherwise, the postman may try to kill you.

    • Passerby says:

      You mean, he may go postal?! 😛 😛

      (… I know, I know. I’ll turn myself in to the Dreadful Pun Police.)

    • The Huckster says:

      Not exactly a pun, since “gone postal” is in direct reference to the legend that postal workers have a tendency to go so nutty they’ll open fire in the workplace.

    • lukethetrucker says:

      Well actually it is a pun, Since you could take it in reference to he would go postal and do his job properly or become a pyschotic killing machine with suicidal tendencies. Since it’s either a serious comment or could be taken as a badly thought out joke, it’s a pun. And there by punny….

    • j-money says:

      It’s really not a pun at all. A pun is a play on words, not “a badly thought out joke.”
      He used the phrase exactly as it was meant to be used, in the reference it originally came from. Complete opposite of a pun.

    • ZE says:

      The phrase “going postal” did not come from legend, it came from a series of shootings by former postal workers, mainly in the early 90s. Most people don’t live around where trends, legends, and slang come out so they don’t see it as being real. I happen to live in Berkley, a couple miles from where one of the shootings took place (Royal Oak). I remember it being a really big deal but I was only 11 when it happened so I didn’t get to see exactly how the phrase spread. I guess I heard about it because my mom worked at the Bloomfield Hills post office at the time.

  5. shutslar says:

    If you put the stamp somewhere else, they will send a disgruntled postal worker to find you.

  6. TychaBrahe says:

    Your mail will be delivered more slowly.

    Stamps are printed with magnetic inks. Sorters at the post office read the presence of the stamp and orient the envelope according to its placement. The envelope is then moved past a machine that reads the address. Proper orientation of the stamp vis-a-vis the address means that the envelope can be properly scanned and understood, facilitating automatic sorting.

    If the stamp is put elsewhere, the envelope won’t be oriented properly, meaning that address is less likely to be read correctly. If the address cannot be read correctly, it is shunted aside for hand sorting, which takes longer.

    • lukethetrucker says:

      you do know the purpose behind this was not education, right? I mean that’s great information to have…… you know……. just in case.

    • shake4it says:

      says the guy who just gave us an english lesson on puns up above…

    • chwazymoto says:

      I never knew that, but I’ve always wondered how mail gets sorted. Thanks for the info!

    • This letter ( I came alive from POWER!) says:

      I don’t think so, here is what will happen:

      the wrath of the gods will fall on your head, your shoes will become untied often, people will park in tour spot on your driveway, your life will be so bad that you will pay Zeeky H. Bomb to say zeekybeekydoog oh cru-

      (insert a typed out explosion as a follow up comment)

    • ZE says:

      But how is that “for your protection”? Why doesn’t it just say “Place Stamp Here” (or similar) like every other envelope?

  7. Ethd says:

    Do not have unprotected mail. It has some pretty scary consequences.

  8. Bobjoe112 says:

    They will hack your computer and change your desktop’s wallpaper to an uncensored picture of Joan Rivers naked, straddling Larry King, who is also naked. You have been warned.

  9. 6star says:

    If you put it on the palm of your hand, your life line will get cancelled!

  10. Susan says:

    You’ve heard the term, going postal? run, run away now.

    • lukethetrucker says:

      Way make the same joke as 8 other people, it wasn’t funny the first 8 times maybe it’s because they weren’t number 9.

  11. EARLS says:

    or we will nsend the gremlins to possess your snowplow with it labled return to sender…. WHO IS THIS ACCURSED SENDER PERSON!

  12. Hello says:

    Well, it’s the postal service after all. Whatever it is, it will come out of nowhere.

  13. ChesterWoof says:

    If you DON’T You will paper-cut your tongue off when you seal the envelope!!!

  14. asdf says:

    Clearly they’ll mail you Chuck Norris.

  15. Salmissra says:

    Failure to comply will result in your face being dragged across hot coals for a few weeks 8D

  16. awesomeness says:

    haha if you put it somewhere else they Will find you
    also, 1ST TO COMMENT!!!!

  17. ICanHasMuffinz says:

    The letter will come to life and demand you place the stamp correctly, if you refuse, it will eat your feet and thumbs as you sleep.

  18. jen says:

    you will be stamped and feathered if you don’t…

  19. PlutoBum says:

    you will be cursed with millions of paper cuts in place you don’t usually get paper cuts….bwahahaha

  20. 5150 says:

    If you place the stamp without protection you will get an STD – Stop Transmitted Delivery.

  21. Malicron says:

    “This is a real nice letter you got here. Be a shame is somthin’ were to happen to it…”

  22. _*rachel*_ says:

    They will hunt you down and /return your mail./

    Or.

    Cut your tongue off with a letter opener, staunch the bleeding with stamps, and feed it to you. Then mummify you with packing tape and mail you to the San Francisco Torture Museum as a volunteer for Demonstration Week.

  23. Ryan says:

    If the stamp is not placed in the exact spot advised, the League of the Obsessively Compulsively Disordered shall attack your home. You ever try to fight off hundreds of people with OCD? Just follow the instructions!

  24. fish eye no miko says:

    They’ll come to your house and stuff rabid weasels down your shirt.

  25. Opheliac says:

    It will spontaneously combust. Duh.

  26. Courtenay says:

    Failure to comply with the Postal Services terms and conditions will result in your tounge being surgically removed (as it appears that you are unable to use it anyway), plus a five dollar fine.

  27. bert says:

    three days and three nights with nancy pelosi

  28. mamawalker says:

    Ever wonder why you get so much junk mail???? Put the damn stamp in the correct place!!!!

  29. PeterS says:

    Za German postman will killz himzelf!

  30. Teej says:

    Now I know why Inspecter Gadget’s letters were always exploding.

  31. magicalistic77 says:

    the postman will stalk you, kidnap you after three weeks, and then proceed to torture you with numerous paper cuts and some lemon juice.

  32. Anastacia says:

    Santa’s elves will eat your guts.

  33. Sarge says:

    This is to prevent PTIs.
    Postal Transmitted Infections.

    Remember, when you mail a letter, your mailing a letter to each and every person that the person you’re mailing a letter to has ever mailed a letter to. Always use protection.

  34. CapnJimmy says:

    You will be forced to go to the airport with this sign http://oddlyspecific.com/2010/04/03/just-leave-it-all/ with all those items on/in your person.

  35. ReezQ says:

    If you don’t ?
    Then the letter will “come back” to haunt you for the rest of your life…

    Do you really want your life to be ruined by 1×1 inch piece of paper ?
    I don’t think so, buddy…

    😀

  36. Uxorious says:

    A newly formed and emerging perfectionist sub-culture within the USA, hell bent on creating a utopic society, where only perfection will be tolerated, is behind the evil genious of affixing postage properly (amongst the multitude of other heinous schemes).

    The mere act of licking or handling postage in any manner introduces a deadly viral contaminant to the user. When the postage is properly affixed to the designated area, the adhesive combines with another chemical to produce a colorless and odorless gas containing the antivirus.

    (This is not real, just a ponderism as to why “for your protection”)

  37. Wildbreeze says:

    Well, duh. If you put it in another place, the envelope will (obiously) transform and try to eat you. Kind of like a Harry Potter ‘howler’, but more vicious. And with sharper teeth. *shudders*

  38. Insanity moonshine says:

    an army of pioson covered flying string will come for you. they shall fly past u so fast they cut you, then the pioson willl seep in through the cut, turn u into a pig and uu will be hunted by the postman. they will then kill u. SLOWLY. with slow motion TNT

  39. NIBS says:

    If you put the stamp somewhere else either the letter will explode or you shall be staked to an anthill and have little pickles thrown at you.

  40. Kitsune says:

    Scylla and Charybdis will appear and destroy your house, and family, then wait for you to come home from work and laugh as you shed tears of despair for your failure to complete a rudimentary postal task.

    • Darkzero45 says:

      Great reference, unless you got them from movies. They will nail you to a stump, light you on fire, and give you a butter knife. Unless you’re a chick, in which case they will do something so unspeakable you can’t even tell your counselor or a trusted adult. It’s called: *************

  41. Worm says:

    Wow. America’s “Be afraid or Die” Strategy is applied to *everything*

  42. Chiming In says:

    They will take you to the store that is closing, and make you ask “Why?” Oooohhh…..scary….

  43. Grapelipgloss says:

    i’m laughing because on the day I finally get around to reading these comments the banner ads on my browser are for Canada Post.

  44. themeister226 says:

    They’re gonna #@#@ @$#! @!%#@& ^%* $^#@ you with a lead pipe covered in barbedwire

  45. liz says:

    The noodle incident will catch up with you.

  46. Luckeux says:

    Death… by papercuts

  47. TheChosen1XD says:

    They might chain you up and tickle you to death….

  48. CJ says:

    Well I don’t remember incorrectly placing any stamps, but my postal lady recently ran over our mailbox and knocked the post out of the ground!

  49. randomguy78 says:

    placing it incorrectly will……….

    damn, all the good ones have been said already 😦

  50. Kaitlynn says:

    Well… Momma always said to use protection!!!!!!!!!

  51. bert says:

    put it on upside down and Mitt Romney will get elected

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