Just Leave it All

Just Leave it All

Submitted by: whatchacallitb4 via There I Fixed It

They didn’t lose your luggage, they just threw it out.

This sign just crushed my dream of being a traveling, golf playing, riot control officer who is a a professional chef and who spends his spare time on testing firearms –Bruce

This entry was posted in 1099689, For Tourists, Informational Signage and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

163 Responses to Just Leave it All

  1. pyrax says:

    “Any type of powder” on the left which apparently does not include, “Chilly powder” (on the right), or “Gun powder” (near the top center).

    “Kumtons?”

    “Portible power saws” listed twice. Must be important.

    Hmmm…

    • ML says:

      From Wikipedia: The Kubotan (sometimes erroneously spelled as Kubaton or Kobutan) self-defense keychain is a close-quarter self-defense weapon developed by Takayuki Kubota.

    • pyrax says:

      I guess if I squint really hard I can resolve that M looking thing into a “BA”. I don’t think they’d let me on the plane though.

    • Tbone says:

      Throwing stars made me laugh… “num”chucks as well. Why don’t they just say no being a ninja on board?

    • Nate says:

      Knives are listed 3 times (4 if you count box cutters). That must be a REALLY important.

    • Iceblossom says:

      You read them all?

    • Mack says:

      What catches my eye is the fact that they listed ‘Numchucks’.

      They’re ‘Nunchuks’.

      No men named Charles with poor circulation!

  2. Miff says:

    I don’t see Trebuchets though… >;3

    • Some Annoying Idiot says:

      Yeah, i’d like to see you pass one off for Hand Baggage though… :-/

    • MRL says:

      If you can fit a siege weapon into your carry-on, you’re a better man than I.

    • naoyusimi says:

      It’s not too hard. I made a mini one in science class in year 10.

    • MRL says:

      But a mini would be prohibited under “toy weapons”. See? They really have accounted for everything!

      …And I see that BGO is right and they do indeed have a listing for catapults. This is impressive, in its own bizarre and disturbingly paranoid way.

    • bela okmyx says:

      Since this sign appears to be in Britain,

      “Catapult”:England = “Slingshot”:USA

    • Jessie says:

      erm no in england catapult= massive thing that hurls rocks or animals into castles

    • AC says:

      Actually it’s both. Did you never read the Beano Jessie?

    • BGO says:

      I think a trebuchet fits in the catapult category

    • Raz says:

      In the broad category of Things that Fling Other Things, yes. However, where trebuchets use a counterweight to fling objects, catapults use torsion.

  3. MusicGal says:

    So toy weapons *and* replica weapons are banned… And no chilly powder! I don’t even know if that’s a misspelling of a harmless baking item or some terrible weapon of mass destruction that I haven’t heard of yet.

    • A Noun says:

      You can, however, carry on Transformers – the only toy mentioned by name in the TSA regulations.

    • Boog says:

      And nuclear weapons seem to be OK…

    • CK159 says:

      Don’t forget chemical or biological weapons. Seems like everything which isnt pointy, doesn’t launch projectiles and doesn’t go bang is fine.
      As long as it doesn’t kill someone before the end of the flight, its good with us!

    • Pseudo-Expert says:

      Nuclear weapons use high explosives to compress the fuel.

    • Midnight says:

      its powdered-Dried-Chilli (or Pepper, if its matters)

  4. Dan says:

    Chilly powder is listed. Where can I get some? What’s it for?

  5. Seibee says:

    Why pickles? I can sort of maybe understand spices, but I haven’t heard of many vehicles being held up with a jar of gherkins.

    • Sybil says:

      Like this: “Take me to Mexico or… I will put this large pickle someplace very uncomfortable! You will never sit right again! DON’T MAKE ME USE THE PICKLE!!!”

    • Gauri says:

      This sign is in India 🙂 I laugh at it everytime I go there. In India, pickle is like a weird jelly mixture in a jar. It’s just called mango pickle or lemon pickle, etc.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_pickle

      Still funny though! I make fun of it everytime I go there!

    • CapnJimmy says:

      Regardless, keep that away from my uncomfortable place please.

  6. fish eye no miko says:

    They said “Portable Power Saws” twice.

  7. miss havok says:

    First they say “Any kind of powder” then, last on the list “Chilly Powder.”
    You can’t have hot or luke warm powder…. and ESPECIALLY not chilly powder!!

    Also, NO CATAPULTS!

  8. Sören says:

    Ahh… no Dynamite in the hand baggage …

    but perhaps in the cargo hold?

    • CK159 says:

      All of this is fine in the cargo hold. But as soon as you mix low temperatures, powder, and carry on luggage, its a no go!

  9. zhoen says:

    Toy weapons, toy guns, bb guns and something else starting with toy that I can’t read. All listed separately.

    • Seibee says:

      It looks like it says ‘toy Transformer robots’. We’ll have no Decepticons on this journey, thank you very much.

  10. Jay says:

    Mmm, this sauce needs more “chilly powder”. And that’s not just “any type of powder” mind you.

  11. marxz says:

    Portable power saws, so dangerous they banned them twice

    … and “cricket bats” AND “sporting bats” listed seperatly … cricket’s not sporting? that’s JUST NOT CRICKET!

    Also aren’t pellet guns, bb guns and compressed air guns all one and the same thing?

  12. BornInaZoo says:

    chilly powder?

  13. marxz says:

    also the initial statement is totally illogical
    if taken literally then if I didn’t have any hand luggage I could pack, on my person, a pistol, a couple of grenades, a baseball bat, a cattle prod AND some pickles…..no problems I’ve got no hand baggage to I’m not banned from taking these items on board.

  14. randomnerd says:

    Anyone else notice ‘chilly powder’?

  15. SKaReCRoW says:

    I can totally understand why they would list toy guns, bb guns, etc and different types of knives separate. People will always try to find a loophole, which they pretty much eliminated. I did find one they missed though. I can carry a bow, and you can carry some arrows, as long as neither one of us is carrying a bow AND arrows.

  16. rywn says:

    who wrote this sign? I can’t carry numchucks or chilly powder? Wait, so I’m cool to carry nunchucks and chili powder(as long as i don’t freeze it), right?

    • WarDragon says:

      Not chili powder, because it’s a type of powder and a spice, which both isn’t allowed.

  17. Sarge says:

    Ok, that’s very oddly specific. Why did they feel the need to list shotguns, revolvers, and all the other gun-related crap they listed. Why not just say “any kind of gun or anything that looks like a gun.”

    • Compulsorry says:

      That’s not odd. It can now double as a shopping list.

      Those goddamn zombies aren’t going to kill themselves, right?

  18. Sybil says:

    dammit…
    *puts spear gun back in trunk*

    • Sybil says:

      *dismantles catapult*
      *sets aside bullwhip*
      *eats pickles*
      Screw it, my vacation is ruined now, I’m taking my knitting needles and going home.

    • CapnJimmy says:

      Don’t forget your syringes, pool cues, religious knives, and road flares!

  19. suki says:

    It’s so hot on the plane, I NEED my chilly powder… Oh well, looks like at least I can have my machete to defend myself against an evil pickle smuggler.

  20. Matt says:

    No bull whips. I guess Indiana Jones is screwed.

  21. fairy cakes says:

    No plastic explosives? They spoil all the fun.

  22. biggles1 says:

    does it mention Suppercarrier fleets?

    😀

  23. biggles1 says:

    wait, does it say “speak guns”?

  24. catfood says:

    “Chilly Powder” – What if you get too warm?

  25. cabbagepatch says:

    If I can’t bring my cattle prod, I’m canceling my trip for sure!

  26. ladupa says:

    It’s quite simple. Security does a cavity search on every person who stares at the list too long on assumption they are terrorists checking the list for loopholes.

  27. JamJam says:

    Oh man, I cant take my throwing stars OR my nunchucks?
    How is a ninja to travel these days?

  28. brett says:

    didn’t say anything about weed.

  29. BGO says:

    They should have made the list alphabetical, it would make it so much easier to check the list against my luggage

  30. joe says:

    No martial arts devices?

  31. halforc says:

    no CROW BARS? but my Crowbar is good right?

  32. gas station bathroom says:

    Would a Freddy glove count as a knife?

  33. lameo says:

    My favorites are “hand grenade” and “dynomite.”

    You have to figure that a true terrorist would pack them on their carry-on. Once they get their grenade or dynomite, they’d be off the airplane.

    Unless, of course, they want to terrorize an airport- which would just be dumb. Security would take them out in a second.

  34. Hapqy says:

    Batteries?
    In that case I might as well leave out the cellphone, laptop, ….

  35. dw says:

    Screw this, I’m saving up my money and buying my own damn plane. I figure my driveway’s long enough.

  36. Alan D says:

    Is that a pickle in your pocket or are you just a happy flier??

  37. Someone says:

    No throwing stars? What are ninja’s supposed to do without being able to take throwing stars with them?

  38. Jellybadger says:

    Well, apparently flamethrowers and gasoline are perfectly fine… and while you can’t bring bow and arrows, it doesn’t say anything about crossbows and bolts.

  39. Bruce says:

    This sign just crushed my dream of being a traveling, golf playing, riot control officer who is a a professional chef and who spends his spare time on testing firearms

    • CapnJimmy says:

      Aye, and mine of being a pool playing tribal witchdoctor who dabbles in mideval torture and demolitions. Damn airport security.

  40. Max Sizemore says:

    No “religious” knives? Kinda discriminatory. And why no fire extinguishers? I’d think they’d actually encourage folks to bring those in case some of that flammable stuff slipped by the inspectors.

  41. Sybil says:

    On a serious note: no syringes? What if it is a long trip, and a person is diabetic?

    • lameo says:

      Things like epipens, inhalers and insulin are allowed if you explain yourself, in my experience.

  42. Foosnark says:

    I don’t see halberds on there anywhere. Or lasers.

  43. hai says:

    “Throwing Stars”

    “Nunchucks”

    “Swords”

    Sorry ninjas, guess you’ll have to drive.

    • CapnJimmy says:

      If a ninja couldn’t get through security, he’s not a ninja. Besides, he could always cling on to the side of the plane.

  44. Grace says:

    No screwdrivers means the Doctor is screwed if he ever misplaces his TARDIS and needs to hop a plane.

    • ceemoy says:

      Physic Paper. ‘Nuff said.

    • CapnJimmy says:

      I just came up with that idea myself today while doing dishes! Thinking back on it, the Doctor could probably just explain to the Indian guy at the airport security basically anything in a really really fast voice and confuse the guy into letting him in. Least, the tenth Doctor could. Havn’t seen the new guy in action.

    • Sheik Yerbouti says:

      Yeah, I’m not optimistic about the new guy — I really miss David Tennant.

      Then again, the Doctor’s device looks nothing like what they’d consider to be a screwdriver…

    • Iceblossom says:

      haha! Yeh, but it doesn’t really look like a screwdriver, he could pass it off as a torch or something!

    • CapnJimmy says:

      Torches count as both gas lighters and road flares. So no go. And they’d just ban his sonic screwdriver anyways. On the bottom of the sign in fine print it says “Reserve the right to restrict anything else we can think of”

    • Sheik Yerbouti says:

      “Torch” as in “flashlight”, methinks.

  45. tehreporter says:

    apparently my improvised industrial grade chemical fertilizer/fuel oil device is okay to fly along with my colliction of PCP dipped amphetamines

  46. CK159 says:

    Correct me if I am wrong, but it would appear volatile chemicals are allowed, as long as they are not any type of powder, or excessively chilly. Also, since only knives are specifically banned in any size, maybe really big or small versions of the other ones are allowed too, except maybe those nano-grenades…

  47. David says:

    Aww, I was really looking forward to spend a relaxing vacation with my handgrenades…. 😦 Ah well, I’ll just go and get my flamethrower instead… Speaking of which, if they decide I can’t take that one either, I’ll just buy a can of deodorant in the tax free and a lighter 😛

    Also, when is a handgrenade a handgrenade, and when is it a nice collection of chemicals and pieces of metal?

  48. Joding says:

    I think it’s funny how they put “Pickles and Spices” before “Pistols”.

  49. Bob Wily says:

    No cattle prods?? Is nothing sacred these days?

  50. ceemoy says:

    No “Martial arts devices”? Does that include hands and feet?

    • Rian says:

      that’s exactly what I was thinking.
      Guess we’ll just have to cut ours off…
      I wonder if we can have crutches…

  51. Im guessing this is the evil mastermind express plane due to the fact they allow nuclear and biological weapons, also robots. 😄

  52. Steel1943 says:

    If a list is this long, at least don’t be redundant. “Any type of powder” is listed, but then it goes on to say “Gun Powder” and “Chilly Powder”, which is spelled wrong, spelled wrong just like “Numchucks”…

  53. Ben says:

    How many knives can there be that don’t fit in the catagory of “knives”? Even “knives (any length)” don’t count as knives! They said no dynamite or plastic, but what about grenades? Or nitroglycerine? = D Oh! I can bring a flamethrower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Sheik Yerbouti says:

      Grenades are on there.

    • trimeows says:

      yeah, hand grenades are in there, but nice job noticing that there were no flamethrowers! but then they would just a) wait for you to set something on fire and arrest you for arson or b) just take it away, lable you a pyromaniac, and ship you off to the loony bin. so its just easier to bring one of those crème brule torches; a lot easier to carry.

  54. Your innerself says:

    i predict sooner or later, USA flight will toss people in the plane naked with cuff on their hand and feet! And next, electro-probe in their ass to electrocute the first one to complaint or move…

  55. Your Lord And Master Foamy says:

    Oddly enough pipe bombs are not on the list… I shall bring my collection with me next time I fly!

  56. tinsi says:

    apperntly you can’t be a ninja either.

  57. pickles? seriously? you can’t bring pickles?

  58. pdkent2000 says:

    I didn’t read anything about not being able to bring a Flail.

  59. Adde says:

    “Staplers”

    Damn… Milton is going to be pissed!

  60. VickyLee says:

    Wait, what’s the one above mace? I can’t read it…starts with a “k”?

    • CapnJimmy says:

      Kubaton. Earlier comment said “From Wikipedia: The Kubotan (sometimes erroneously spelled as Kubaton or Kobutan) self-defense keychain is a close-quarter self-defense weapon developed by Takayuki Kubota.” Wait, the sign spelled it wrong? Maybe this sign is a fake! =o

  61. Azulfighter says:

    Wouldn`t it be easier to put up a sign that said “Do not bring anything on board!”

  62. AD2007 says:

    Yeah, that’s going to stop anyone attacking, people obviously thought terrorism is ok because we just haven’t put up detailed enough signs yet…

  63. Blockhed13 says:

    Why cant we bring on Flare guns? We may actually need those!

  64. TheDeceiverGod says:

    Is there really a big problem with people attempting to bring catapults on board?

  65. CapnJimmy says:

    I would like to apologize to the people who moderate these comments for exposing my mind to them 7 times (this being the seventh) but this sign is just so… amazing.

  66. Sheik Yerbouti says:

    “Gun lighters”? In case you’re bringing an old matchlock gun?

  67. Mike says:

    Pickles & spices?? lol

  68. Drew says:

    It’s nice to know I am now free of the constant threat of ninjas wielding throwing stars & pickles.
    What?
    Have you ever had pickle juice in a throwing star wound? Then don’t judge.

  69. Been there seen that says:

    You guys have a good laugh but all this stupidity at the airports has started from the U.S.
    Just thank George W and the team.

  70. trimeows says:

    wouldn’t it be a little hard to fit a catapult, portable power saw, and any type of shotgun into your handbag? and what about scissors with rounded tips. those aren’t mentioned anywhere. plus it would suck if you were a Thai or an Indian cook, cuz curry powder is a main ingrediant in most things, you can’t bring along your favorite set of cutlery, and you can’t even bring along a box cutter to open up a set of freshly mailed spices to make up for the ones thrown out at the airport.

  71. Required says:

    What the hell is Chilly Powder, or Numchucks…?

  72. Required says:

    Hmmm I noticed they didn’t say anything about my Bazooka either…

  73. sarah says:

    didn’t know if i read this rightr, but does it say ‘portable power saws’? (second column) more importantly, does it say it twice?

  74. CapnJimmy says:

    This only mentions carry-on hand luggage, so as long as you pack your home arsenal into seperate bags you’re fine.

  75. jinxed says:

    This makes the TSA agency look well going when it comes to regulations.

  76. wolf says:

    *reads sign* i guess i can bring a kunai ….

  77. wolf says:

    did we all notice it left out ak-47

  78. Sigma Pharos says:

    They missed crossbows unless I’m mistaken.

  79. Markados says:

    Why is “Portable Power Saws” (second column) repeated twice? are there two kinds?

  80. steamshadow says:

    Bazookas, Rocket Launchers, Gatling Guns and flame throwers are A-ok!

  81. mbishop says:

    I guess I can’t take my two portable power saws or my numchucks. Nunchucks, however, are just fine.

  82. draytonimore says:

    wtf!!!!! no maces!!! WHYYYY!!!!!!

  83. Jovian says:

    “Martial arts devices”… you mean, like hands and feet?

  84. Ginny says:

    haha… I guess granny will have to put off finishing that afgan…

  85. Maleficent says:

    How tacky. They put portable power saws on there twice. I call shenanigans.

  86. the_strange_cat says:

    OK, 2 things to say:
    1. Brrr…chilly powder!
    2. The annoyingly specific quality that this sign possesses nonetheless leaves a crazy humongous amount of loopholes…I guess I’ll just bring my large, heavy dictionary and give a severe head-whacking to whoever posted this sign (dictionaries are not mentioned anywhere on this exceedingly specific sign).

  87. Darkzero45 says:

    They should add Anything redundant to the list (comments or otherwise)

    Also: There should be an item bank in the airport like in video-games. That way you can pick up your various weapons and ingredients at your destination. Wherever on the world map that may be.

  88. Andrew says:

    hmmm… cyanide is never listed

  89. tictac472 says:

    you notice the catapult one? that’d be interesting on a plane.

  90. Nein says:

    It list Mace(the spray) but not maces( the weapon) or flails ( maces with the ball on a chain.

  91. shouldbestudying says:

    No sir, this is NOT a rifle.Technically it only has a 16-inch barrel so it is a CARBINE, not a rifle, and since it only fires semi-automaticcally we’re cool right?

  92. HannaRose says:

    Uhm, I don’t know about you, but I have a lot of handbags and I’ve seen a few, and I’ve still never seen one that could carry Ski Poles or a Catapult in it… Except for Marry Poppin’s bag..

  93. garadex says:

    good news! nuclear missiles are totally fine.

  94. Luckeux says:

    wait… wait… we can’t have fire extinguisher???? what the fuck are they gonna do if there’s a fire?

  95. Chris says:

    I like that knives is listed twice, but best of all is that Portable Power Saws is listed twice right next to each other. Also “Catapults” is awesome.

  96. Shep33 says:

    Not so fast Inspector Gadget.

  97. Kate says:

    First…what exactly is “Chilly Powder”? And second…I get teased a lot for having a “Mom purse” but I sure as heck can’t fit a baseball bat or a saber in it!

  98. barfy says:

    philippines?

  99. Anne says:

    Aw…. I can’t bring my mace?
    But it was a Christmas present from my gran…
    Darn.

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