I’m Never Getting Home….

Submitted by: The 181st A Train station, New York via Oddly Specific

I’m sure this makes perfect sense to a native New Yorker. I, however, have only ever ridden the subway in NYC once, so I would be stuck on that platform, dancing for coins until the normal train schedule resumed.

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35 Responses to I’m Never Getting Home….

  1. Seibee says:

    I think I’d take the bus.

  2. Nick says:

    I dunno, this isn’t contradictory. You do have to read the whole thing before it makes sense. The whacky part is that they didn’t actually need to say that the 2nd notice applies Sat to Mon, since June 9-11 was…. Well… Sat-Mon.

    Oh, and the year in question was 2007.

  3. ScottM says:

    The sign on the left means that the downtown track/right of way is (probably) closed for maintenance during the times specified. The sign on the right means the uptown right of way is closed during those times. So all trains run on the only open track while work is being done. Quite common in NY.

    Like Nick said, it isn’t contradictory [unless you only read the top part]. Not to be Mr. Complainypants, but it isn’t “oddly” specific either. It’s necessarily specific. In fact, the specificity is what causes it to be sensible.

  4. Whatever says:

    I don’t know about the rest, but I’d definitely be expecting to run into Rod Stewart at some point…

  5. Tacitus Voltaire says:

    (sings)

    “Hurry hurry, Take The A Train, it’s the only way to get to Harlem!”

    Yeah!

  6. cabbagepatch says:

    I have a headache now.

  7. Michael says:

    It’s a construction/cleaning/something notice that both uptown and downtown trains will stop at the same platform, with the platform chosen depending on the day of the week.

    Lousy way to say it, reasonable idea.

  8. JD says:

    As a native New Yorker, I wouldn’t exactly say it makes sense, but you kind of come to expect it. On weekends you just accept that a lot of lines are going to be f’ed up.

  9. Brooklynxman says:

    As a native New Yorker I will say this. Until you get used to riding the subway, those signs can screw you at least 8 ways to Sunday. Once you do, that’s just business as usual.

  10. YO says:

    I dont know what’s going on :-s

  11. Tacitus Voltaire says:

    Since I grew up in Manhattan, I get to say “as a native New Yorker” too! 🙂

    As a native of the Upper West Side, I will say this: take the IRT instead!

  12. Qynoi says:

    If you don’t see the Tues-Friday bit on the first sign, it sounds like between Jun 9-11 that they just swap the trains around. Maybe it’s like rotating your tires.

  13. Eric says:

    “How do you get to shell beach?”

  14. ERIC^2 says:

    to get to shell beach. take a train until you get lost and get off. the next train will magicly be for shell beach

  15. dan says:

    It confuses me too. Who would take the A train uptown in the middle of the night. As a grad student, we wouldn’t cross Morningside Park even in the day.

  16. Sarah says:

    I don’t get it at all… does that notice mean that two opposing trains are riding the same track? How is that even possible? I’m obviously not from a big city, haha.

  17. Stuart says:

    ‘Uptown’ and ‘downtown’ is a bit vague. It’s not really an official universal thing as to which is up and which is down

    What’s wrong with north/south/east/westbound

  18. Giantfishy says:

    Must’ve been a VERY ‘Late Nite’.

  19. Tony says:

    wow can people not read? one says tuesday to friday and the other one says saturday to monday…

  20. moarku says:

    As a New Yorker, yes this makes total sense. Basically it means they’re doing track work and rather than shut down the whole line and have shuttle buses instead (an even bigger pain in the butt), they’re having both trains use the same track for this station, as @Sarah suggested, and probably a few on either side too. As the uptown train goes through, the downtown has to wait, and vice versa.

    @Stuart, in Manhattan uptown is north and downtown is south. All the trains except the two that actually go east/west marked up/down. I know in other cities “downtown” refers to the city center regardless of where it is, but in New York downtown is actually down. I’ve always assumed that’s because those terms originated here, but I could be wrong.

    That being said, you do have to read those signs pretty carefully. There are some that are way more detailed than these and they can screw you up pretty bad. That’s if you’re lucky enough for them to have actually posted a sign at all. 😮

  21. Steve says:

    You’ve obviously never been to NYC, then. ‘Uptown’ and ‘downtown’ are very specific. We generally don’t say north or south (although the exit signs on the subway will say something like “SE corner of 8th ave and 50th st); all subways in Manhattan (except the couple that run crosstown) run uptown/downtown or Queens/Brooklyn/Bronx bound.

    And yes, these signs make perfect sense if you read them completely.

  22. Camwyn says:

    It doesn’t have to be a universal thing in New York City. In Manhattan, uptown means you go in the direction that the street numbers get big, and downtown means that the street numbers are getting small. Eventually you hit streets with just names but by then you pretty much only have the south end of the island left, so you’re still going downtown.

    Manhattan Island is slanted. North doesn’t actually correspond to the top end of the island. Crosstown streets don’t run east-west, either. Uptown/downtown/crosstown makes more sense on Manhattan Island. Northbound/southbound/etc. works better in the outer boroughs.

  23. N. Fritz says:

    “Dancing for coins” *snark!*

  24. Mike says:

    That’s why you don’t take the A train, you take the 1. And it does make sense, just why they’re doing it doesn’t.

  25. Brett says:

    Having lived in NYC for 5 years now, this makes me smile. While the signs, read carefully and thoroughly, make complete sense, I understand how they can throw out-of-towners for a loop. Sometimes even I find myself reading them and saying “Wait…what?”

  26. Katryn says:

    Having lived in NYC for 15 years, these signs say to me “Just take a cab!”

  27. QuackJak says:

    As a native New Yorker, let me just say I’m glad there are so many other New Yorkers out there who feel the need to qualify their comments with “as a native New Yorker…”.

  28. Jayo says:

    I had to go back to the City recently for two weeks. Even though I’d known the Subway for years, I now had to ask fellow passengers just to make sure I didn’t get lost. Because the signs, at times, are written in a secret language I’m too cold or tired to decode. Or they aren’t there at all, like in the big central bus station, Port Authority, for example, where you have get to the staircase leading to the Subway by instinct. (At the staircase itself, you’ll see a small sign saying “Subway” though.)

    Every person I asked told me exactly what I needed to know. One of the things I like about New York is that you can talk to anyone.

  29. Eleiana says:

    This refers to them “single tracking” the trains, i.e., running trains in both directions using the same track rather than the usual two separate tracks. This is probably due to scheduled track work. They do that with the subway here in Washington D.C. too, only I have to say our announcements are a bit less cryptic LOL, they just say that “ALL trains will stop on the (insert direction here) side of the platform”.

  30. jodi says:

    trust me…the MTA doesn’t EVER make sense!

  31. Nick says:

    As a native New Yorker, this sign is very simple. The uptown and downtown trains are now simply on opposite sides of the track…if all you country folk know what I mean

  32. jdk says:

    I am just commenting on this so I can say “as a native New Yorker” and wax nostalgic since I lived in the Heights (that’s Washington Heights to non-native New Yorkers 😉 ) during the time this sign was in effect. No longer living in NYC, I miss the convenience and ease of the subway.

  33. ferret says:

    Actually, I’m a new yorker and I have no clue. Probably because I live in buffalo, not NYC.

  34. gecko says:

    There’s nothing wrong with these signs, in fact they wouldn’t even be contradictory if both signs covered the same days over the same period.

    As it is the signs state that each track will be closed for several days and all trains on that track will be diverted via the other track.

    As it would be if the signs covered the same days over the same period (as many people seem to assume and think makes a contradiction) the signs would state that trains that usually travel on either track would be traveling on the other track for the duration (i.e. the allowed direction of the two tracks being reversed)

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