What If I Have to Itch My Firetruck?

Funny Signs - What If I Have to Itch My Firetruck?

Submitted by: dunno source via Oddly Specific

I need some help. My [censored] got [censored] in a [censored] and I hate to [censored] [censored], but I can’t get out. I thought I’d [censored] until someone found me, but my [censored] isn’t that good today.

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44 Responses to What If I Have to Itch My Firetruck?

  1. x-15a2 says:

    Well, I guess that leaves hockey out of the conversation!

  2. RJMac says:

    What the uck is this it about? Ain’t this sign a itch?

  3. Biri says:

    Please
    do not capitalise a preposition, and if you want to write suffixes, you put dashes before them (-uck, -it, -itch), not to mention that while mere two exclamation marks are not a sign of full-blown insanity, you’re skirting the edge there.

  4. madlib says:

    I need some help. My [duck] got [stuck] in a [ditch] and I hate to [admit] [it], but I can’t get out. I thought I’d [wait] until someone found me, but my [luck] isn’t that good today.

  5. Mr E says:

    earingsway inyay igpay atinlay oesday otnay endyay ithway osethay…

    Or for those who don’t understand Pig Latin (or my dialect):
    Swearing in pig latin does not end with those…

  6. the cat says:

    madlib: I was thinking “truck”, but I like yours better.

    That does cover an awful lot of words, and not even all the ones I think they intended to cover. Especially since people tend to combine them with others. Are words ending in -ithead OK? What about -itchface or -ucker?

  7. MWS says:

    That would be quite a switch for my Brit friend, Chuck.

  8. Wesmania says:

    But I bet one buck on that switch to itch the lit duck spit!

  9. Eleanor says:

    So… cunt is still on the table?

  10. Duuuuuuude. says:

    I need some help. My [bitch] got [spit] in a [truck] and I hate to [twitch] [& shit], but I can’t get out. I thought I’d [cluck] until someone found me, but my [benefit] isn’t that good today.

  11. anon says:

    So, “fucking bitches” is technically still allowed…

  12. Bill says:

    I need some help. My [truck] got [stuck] in a [ditch] and I hate to [admit] [it], but I can’t get out. I thought I’d [sit] until someone found me, but my [luck] isn’t that good today.

  13. jimmy saints says:

    First (censored) your (censored). Then (censored) over to the (censored). Finally, (censored) with a (censored) and eat your (censored). That should help.

  14. Dr. Mike says:

    What is a four letter word ending in k that means intercourse? well, TALK, of course!

  15. Kelsie says:

    So, “you dumbass cocksucker from Hell” is okay?

  16. EvilIrishPixi says:

    I like Bill’s the best LOL although I was trying to put in as many curse words as I could but nothing made sense haha funny how by substituting the word “censored” for absolutely ANY other word causes the mind to automatically think of the worst word possible.

    I need some help. My [shit] got [stuck] in a [bitch] and I hate to [admit] [it], but I can’t get out. I thought I’d [f*ck] until someone found me, but my [grit*] isn’t that good today

    *(meaning stamina)

    Although every tween and teen out there will think it’s hilarious, it just doesn’t sound as good.

  17. globalynx says:

    ROFL…… ooooh, gotta wipe the tears and my sides hurt…
    Great comments.

  18. Somnax says:

    What if someone throws a fit?

  19. bushputz says:

    Being the company censor during baseball season must be a real joy:

    Here’s the windup and the [bleep]
    The batter swings and the ball drops into left field for a [bleep]
    Our ace is throwing really well today – in four innings, he’s [bleep] out five batters

    Joe came up to bat really needing a [bleep], but the first [bleep] was high and inside. Joe forgot to [bleep] and was [bleep] by the [bleep]

  20. lyredragon says:

    I lolled until I had a [stitch] in my side.

  21. L says:

    anon says: So, “fucking bitches” is technically still allowed…

    You are absolutely correct, good sir.

  22. PugetSounder says:

    “Hello, I’d like to buy a hitch kit for my truck.”

  23. Dread says:

    What about words ending in “-igger”?

  24. anon says:

    what if i have to sit and stitch my duck?

  25. till the end says:

    yay! i ove to (censored) my (censored). and sometimes i have random (censored), but that doesnt stop me from ridin in my (censored). and sometimes my pet (censored) likes to (censored) in my (censored). i dont know why. you know what? im having fried (censored) tonight!!!!

  26. kyoji says:

    Well, this might actually give us some insight as to at least two of the other words the Knights Who Say Ni cannot hear!

  27. Knight that says Ni says:

    Note that behind IT is a shrubbery!

    Knights that say Ni: Modern Warfare

  28. Starcat says:

    That’s going to be interesting…. “It” is definitely a word ending in “it.” I’d be amused to see how many violations crop up in the average conversation. Could make a good drinking game….

  29. Lomein says:

    Notice how they never mentioned words ending in unt.

  30. twinkle twinkle says:

    lolz they forgot unt, iz, and ot :]

  31. VickyLee says:

    But how do I say my pants spl– and I need to st— them up or I’m out of l—?

  32. maeley says:

    unt, iz, and ot? never mind, i dont want to know.

  33. bobby says:

    Mitch got a zit. Yuck!

  34. smiley says:

    “….But I have to itch it! Yuck!”

  35. Mike says:

    I need some help. My [truck] got [stuck] in a [pit] and I hate to [ditch] [it], but I can’t get out. I thought I’d [sit] until someone found me, but my [luck] isn’t that good today. ???

  36. BULU says:

    I bet you one b(uck) that Ch(uck) will have to s(it) when he makes each st(itch) in his t(ucks). I bet you another b(uck) that Ch(uck) will make a mistake and call for the fire-tr(uck).

  37. 7IHd says:

    With my luck, that’d be precisely when I needed to pitch a fit.

  38. My name is Nick (until further notice) says:

    I need some “stitch wit”… I’m STUCK!

  39. derp says:

    I notice you can still talk about your dick without any hassles…

  40. katie13 says:

    well…shit!

  41. Anon says:

    So something like “after we *ucked and I *hitted all over her chest she *itched the rest of the night” would be okay because it doesn’t END with those… I think I spotted a loophole.

  42. kioko says:

    DO YOU KNOW WHATS MY FAVORITE WORD STARTING WITH F AND ENDIND WITH UCK?! . . . . . FIRETRUCK!!!!!

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